This shirt is yesterday's shirt, but its molting. Tomorrow it will grow into a bigger and more colorful shirt. This may explain why there have been no duplicate shirts yet. The shirts must be breeding in Paul's closet and producing shirt offspring of brilliant colors and textures unbeknownst to Paul and his family. We actually decided to put this theory to scientific scrutiny and began our search in the dryer (the most obvious hiding place for tiny shirts). Click here to see what we found. Now that we found one we are sure that there must be a breeding population of shirts in the house, but we have decided to let Paul decide how to best handle the situation. No one wants to come between an angry mother shirt and her baby shirt.We have also included a picture of Paul's boots today. Paul heard the word grunge yesterday and got waaaaaay too excited. He actually broke out corduroys and these boots to add to the statement made by the shirt. What none of has the heart to tell Paul was that the shirt was too ugly even for grunge! Well he knows now. When Paul said 'You have to see my boots', I had this instantaneous mental image of Paul wearing Jack Boots to work and I was actually afraid to look down. It turns out that Paul's taste in footwear is not even in the same league as his taste in shirts because these boots are actually socially acceptable.
Tomorrow is crocktoberfest here at Link Computer Corporation and Paul has hinted at wearing a costume and the only thought that went through my head was 'What the hell have you been wearing for the past year?'
Today's shirt and its wearing is concerning on many levels. My concern started because Paul saw the picture of Lee Majors in yesterday's post and said 'Hey, I have that shirt!'. Now I am not sure what is more sad, the fact that Paul has the shirt, the fact that Paul knows he has the shirt, or the fact that Paul wore the shirt today to make a point. To further clarify the subtlety of what was just said: the point that Paul is trying to make is 'I really do own that horrible looking shirt that Lee Majors is wearing in that picture taken in 1976'. My next level of concern is that this blog has been going on for two weeks and we have yet to see a duplicate. Now this is good for the blog, but it makes me wonder what Paul's closet looks like. Maybe when can prompt him into a picture of that. It could be scary, but it would be like watching a train wreck.
I am poking fun at this shirt for being from the 1970's, but I must be honest, this was not my first thought. If you throw in an over-sized belt, some torn jeans, a black t-shirt, and messy hair (ok Paul already has this one) then this is pure GRUNGE!
I was conflicted about Friday’s shirt and what it meant to this blog. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of the normal mind, Friday’s shirt provided a dim light of hope. That light was faintly flickering with the thought that maybe Paul was capable and willing to return to a normal sense of attire that he had not experienced since the 1970’s. As the flame of hope slowly highlighted the face of my despair and concern for the future of this blog, it erupted into an inferno consuming all thoughts of normality with today’s fashion statement of a shirt. So with my concerns forever charred, I am gleefully looking forward to tomorrow’s ensemble.Jason hit this shirt on the head with his thoughts of engineering paper. I really wish I had thought of that! My first thought, however, was of Colonel Steve Austin. I do not even know where the thought came from, but I found myself thinking, “We can rebuild it. We have the technology” You almost need to have some sound effect in your head when you look at Paul’s shirt or I am convinced that you will sacrifice at least a few brain cells. My new sound effect is the “tw tw tw” sound from The Six Million Dollar Man. Notice I said new sound effect (yes I have be thwarting the degenerative nature of Paul’s shirt for awhile). My old sound effect was Bill Cosby’s sound effect for his go-cart: “nah nah nah nah …nah!” I just realized how poorly sound carries through the digital medium, so go listen…..it is much better. But I diverge, back to rebuilding of the shirt. After thinking that thought through to its ultimate death spiral, I realized just how futile that prospect is. These shirts have very little upside in their future. Maybe a Halloween custom here, a rag there, or even a kid’s club house flag to warn the girls away, but they have ceased being productive ingredients in today’s society….except to fuel this blog!
Pauls Post:
I walked into work this morning and half a dozen people went from smiles to frowns as I took off my coat. I think it was Jack who said “At least he has some brand loyalty.” As a side note, Jack’s peach colored shirt or Jeremy’s cacophony of green and white horizontal stripes could be used as substitute entries for today's blog.
So, anyway, it’s time for someone to tell the tale of how this blog started. It happened at LinkUp, and it’s obvious there was beer involved.
Bruce's Post:
Hang on skippy, that's a story for another bad shirt day, but a good story it is nonetheless. Paul is right he let all of us Shirt Followers down by donning the official garb of a Link Computer employee. And as much as I appreciate the ‘brand loyalty’, it was a letdown for any day, but for a Friday, it was almost unforgiveable … almost.
First let me start by saying that the peach shirt and striped shirt referenced by Paul were borderline material or to put it another way: they are no Paul’s Shirt! But the blog must go on and it was easy to find the fuel to do so once I realized that the t-shirt being worn under the Link Computer garb, was no less than a Krispy Kream shirt.
We seem to have gotten some support for the blog in the way of an official Paul’s Shirt. There is some question as to the official nature of this shirt, considering the shirt is way too quiet to have anything to do with Paul, but I believe it was meant to be worn by the normal population in support of the abnormal Paul’s Shirt.
We also seem to have some copy cats out there, most notably is the guy wearing post-it notes on his shirt to simulate a Paul’s Shirt. Now, while this represents a valiant attempt, it falls far short of the Paul mark. Paul's shirt are typically 100% polyester or some other synthentic material from the 1970's, but never are there accessories added to the shirts.
On a final note (from the depths of my disappointment) I realized that things could be a lot worse. Imagine Paul showing up for work like John Daly to play golf below.
So, anyway, it’s time for someone to tell the tale of how this blog started. It happened at LinkUp, and it’s obvious there was beer involved.
Bruce's Post:
Hang on skippy, that's a story for another bad shirt day, but a good story it is nonetheless. Paul is right he let all of us Shirt Followers down by donning the official garb of a Link Computer employee. And as much as I appreciate the ‘brand loyalty’, it was a letdown for any day, but for a Friday, it was almost unforgiveable … almost.
First let me start by saying that the peach shirt and striped shirt referenced by Paul were borderline material or to put it another way: they are no Paul’s Shirt! But the blog must go on and it was easy to find the fuel to do so once I realized that the t-shirt being worn under the Link Computer garb, was no less than a Krispy Kream shirt.
We seem to have gotten some support for the blog in the way of an official Paul’s Shirt. There is some question as to the official nature of this shirt, considering the shirt is way too quiet to have anything to do with Paul, but I believe it was meant to be worn by the normal population in support of the abnormal Paul’s Shirt.
We also seem to have some copy cats out there, most notably is the guy wearing post-it notes on his shirt to simulate a Paul’s Shirt. Now, while this represents a valiant attempt, it falls far short of the Paul mark. Paul's shirt are typically 100% polyester or some other synthentic material from the 1970's, but never are there accessories added to the shirts.
On a final note (from the depths of my disappointment) I realized that things could be a lot worse. Imagine Paul showing up for work like John Daly to play golf below.
Everyday I am amazed with the ability to produce a shirt just a little more abhorrent than the one chosen the day before. This one looks like someone ripped the fabric off an old chair and cut it to fit. I think this with little evidence, but I will tell you that there is a large button in the middle of the back that just doesn't belong there. Well that and the matching throw pillows in Paul's cube.The close up actually looks like a fabric rendition of a set of neon lights. I not really sure what they would be advertising for, maybe prison, nah! That shirt in prison would only lead to bad things.
I just remembered where I saw this shirt or at least a close rendition: Saturday Night Fever! Just imagine if Paul would leave it unbuttoned to the navel with three or four large gold chains. {shiver} O.K. sorry for that mental image.
It might be hard to see, but look at the picture of the close-up version and you will see that the shirt has monkey pox. Actually I am not even sure what they are supposed to be, but they are way too orderly to be a disease. Nothing in nature appears this uniformly ugly; well except possibly the eyes on this fly.
On an interesting note: look closely and you will see that out of the three buttons in the picture….not a one MATCHES! After seeing the pattern on the shirt, I am thinking that this might actually be planned.
It is rumored that this shirt has been passed down through many ancestors because it is actually an original flag of the House Bourbon, which was smuggled out of France during the revolution. Now that I think about it, this shirt may have ultimately led to the French revolution. Just another shining example of French art (I cringed as I wrote that) making its way to our shores, whether we wanted it or not…not!
Paul has already shown his Green side in the post Blimey, but this takes nature prints to a new level. Again today we had an issue of the camera not wanting to focus on the ungodly shirt. I think we have scarred the camera for life and its days as a member of the photo journalistic community are numbered.The first picture you see is a result of this effect and it looks like Rembrandt
painted his worst impressionist paintings right on Paul’s shirt. I know you are saying, Rembrandt was not an impressionist painter...well this is why!
If you sit in the presence of this shirt for any period of time you quickly start playing ‘find the hidden objects’. I don’t know why but you instinctively do it.
Wow, there’s a moose!
And there is a leaf.
Over there is a deer.
Is that fish bones or a fossilized fern?
Look a alligator sneaking in the background!
You could play this for hours, but you shouldn’t. I think there is some surgeon general warning about this actual activity.
SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: Exposure to this shirt may cause you to play ‘find the hidden objects’
SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: Playing ‘find the hidden objects’ on this shirt will make you more stupider than you were when you decided to look at the shirt
Well to wrap it up here is the actual view of the shirt, you decide, but this may have set a new bar for all other shirts to be measured by.
By Special Correspondent Jason Ibrahim
If it ain't easy being green, lime must be impossible for everyone but Paul. In today's increasingly environmentally-conscious society, Paul's "greening" is earning the envy of a good many of his coworkers. Yes readers, this is the biggest bombshell in men's apparel since Jerry Seinfeld's Puffy Shirt made its debut. Or not.
NOTE: This shirt is made from 100% post-thrift store product.
Bruce's Update
First of all, thank you Jason for taking up the Shirt torch and running with it.
On a sad note I wanted to report that the post was late today because Paul had to attend a funeral for his aunt. Our condolences go out to him and his family in this time of loss.
Now to point out something that you might have skipped over while reading: “Paul had to attend a funeral”. Yes, we’re assuming that he wore that shirt as well. It is nice to know that Paul does not exclude his own family from the greater good brought about by the majestic power of the shirt.
Someone really needs to figure out a way to make a striped shirt from a single piece of fabric. The stripes going multiple directions look like Walt Disney was in a car wreck.
In closing I will say: Jerrell this one is for you! For all the naysayers that thought that the blog would somehow diminish the quality (I used that descriptor loosely) of the shirts being worn, I remind you that “Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”